The Beginning

A few hours ago I was in my parents room as my dad cleaned out his night stand drawers trying to find his passport. Some treasures came out of that abyss, one of them being a Father's Day card I gave him some 11 years ago. As I struggled to read my 10 year old self's writing, I came to realize my dyslexia was horrible back then. I spelled words like grateful, great, and good "geartful," "geart," and "god." In talking to my mom shortly after sludging our way through my writing, she suggested to me that I should write a blog about my experiences as a dyslexic because my story might help or bring hope to those who either suffer from dyslexia or have a child who does. So this is my story of all the problems I've had to face and the success I have had even with my disability.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia as well as ADHD when I was around 8 years old. Some people might know that ADHD is rarely a stand alone disease. Many suffer from dyslexia like I do or other learning challenges that compound ADD/ADHD. Even though I was only in my early years of schooling, my grades weren't necessarily the best and I can honestly say I hated reading.

I remember 2nd grade which I shared with my best friend, Andrea. We would read the "See Jane Run" type books but she was always at a higher level than I was. I would spend hours trying to get through the easiest of the children's books while Andrea breezed right on through. I have a distinct memory of sitting on the couch with my mom trying to get through one of the books before school started. She was getting frustrated with me because I would constantly be putting in letters that wouldn't be in the words or getting the words wrong. I was in tears because of the challenge it was for me to read books that the other kids in my class had finished weeks before. Needless to say, grade school was complete torture.

During 3rd grade my family moved to Houston, Texas where we lived for about a year. In the summer between third and fourth grade, my mom took me to a test type thing to see if I needed to be placed in a resource class. I didn't know this at the time but looking back, it was probably the best thing they could have done for me. I was placed in a class entirely of kids who were at my same learning level. I always excelled in math and science so I was a little ahead of the kids in my class, but in English I was right at their level. My grades improved and I remember running up to my teacher from the year before and showing her my A's and B's which I had never gotten before. It was an exciting time in my life where I didn't feel out of place and was excited to learn.

Only a few short months after 4th grade started I was back in Utah. I continued on with the resource, but unlike Texas, Utah didn't have a separate class for those who had learning disabilities: it had a small class during the school day where I would go for about an hour while the rest of my classmates got to remain with our normal teacher. It put a black mark on my back for snide comments because my peers all knew where I was going and why I was going there. It was absolutely miserable. My tutor made me feel stupid as she bounced her pencil on each word that I read from the book of the week. For two years I begged my parents to let me stop resource and finally in 6th grade I was allowed to leave it.

It was at this time in my life that things started to change for me. But those are stories for another time. For now, this was the beginning of my life as a dyslexic. For those of you out there reading this post, don't be discouraged by dyslexia. I will share my stories in hope that they help you. Don't think of dyslexia as a reason to feel stupid or bellow others, but a reason to feel proud of where you once were and where you are now. We have to fight a steeper battle than others around us, but in that fight to learn and improve ourselves, we should find pride that we made any ground at all. Dyslexia is a disease that could easily cripple us, but when all is said and done, we can come away saying, "I conquered."